BEST JOKES ABOUT THE CRISIS, HAVE FUN!



Here you can find our collection of best jokes about the crisis. We selected the best ones from what we saw in net and what we heard from other people, Please, don’t hesitate to send us more new ones. So, forget all the troubles and have fun! Enjoy!


Optimists study English; pessimists study Chinese, realists study Kalashnikov

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Important Announcement
Due to recent economic reversals and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil,
the “light at the end of the tunnel” has been turned off.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
Sincerely,
Your Government

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Mark Twain was ahead of the curve: "October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February."

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I tried to get cash from the ATM today but it said "insufficient funds". I don't know if that meant them or me.

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What is the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW
What's the difference between a Lehman Bros. trader and a pigeon?
A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Ferrari.

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What is the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
The pizza can still feed a family of four

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What does a hedge fund manager with no fund to manage say?
Would you like fries with that sir?

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What is the capital of Iceland?
About $20

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What's the definition of optimism?
An investment banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday evening.

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An investment banker said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one in the street yesterday.

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A man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?' 'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'

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The credit crunch is getting bad, isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow a tenner a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now Britain's fourth biggest lender.

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First Kerry Katona declares herself bankrupt, now its Iceland as well...

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Bradford & Bingley employees are concerned that they were given no notice of the takeover by Santander.
A government spokes man said, "Nobody expects the Spanish acquisition."

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If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago, it would now be worth £4.95.
With HBOS, earlier this week, your $1000 would have been worth £16.50.
£1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5.
But if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium recycling plant, you would get £214.
So, based on the above statistics, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

SOON WILL BE MORE!